Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The need for effective communication is essential in business. We all know that. But it’s also quite important in our personal lives, too!
Businesses need to ensure that employees are told what they need to know. Sometimes this means having to withhold sensitive information; that’s perfectly understandable. But it’s also important to be as open and honest with your precious commodity – your staff – as possible. That’s when it’s important to get information out not only in a timely manner, but also written as clearly as possible to prevent misinformation or misunderstandings.
But what happens if there’s a leak? What happens when someone in a knowledgeable position lets something slip?
That’s when you get people gossiping, when rumours become rife and you end up wasting time and energy on fire fighting. None of us want that! That’s just plain awkward, creating uncertainly and distrust of our employers. Hopefully these days, most ethical and honest businesses know precisely when to time their communications so that any unwanted scare-mongering never happens.
Personal relationships
The same is true in our personal lives. Particularly when it comes to our significant other! Whether you’re just starting out on a relationship, been together a couple of years, live together or are married, my personal opinion is that honesty is always best.
Then again, sometimes it’s kinder to not tell your other half something you’ve learned that may hurt them, or done that you shouldn’t have! It rather depends on the individual and your relationship. In the end, though, I usually feel it’s best to tell him or her about that awful thing you did sooner rather than later. If your relationship isn’t strengthened by being open, honest and trusting, then it’s probably not a good relationship.
Also, I struggle with secrets. Depending on what it is, a secret will almost always get found out in the end, which can lead to mistrust and damaged relationships.
Secrets
When I say I struggle with secrets, I don’t mean that I can’t keep them. I can, and do! Many of my friends have confided in me over the years and asked me not to say anything. I’m very good at keeping secrets – mainly because my memory is so rubbish that I tend to forget them! 😉 Seriously though, I am a loyal friend and would never betray a confidence unless that person is in danger. Then I may have to say that I can’t promise to keep quiet.
I’ve had to do that in recent years both with my daughter and for another young lady who I helped to support for a while through her eating disorder. There would be times when they’d tell me about something they’d done, or not taken or eaten. And then quickly follow up with: “But don’t tell anyone! Promise me you won’t!” I would have to say that I’m sorry, I can’t keep that promise. Nine times out of ten they would expect me to say that anyway – deep down they wanted my help, they wanted me to tell other professionals, to help save their lives.
What I do really struggle with is ‘Confidentiality’ in the medical community, particularly when it comes to mental health illnesses – or more specifically, eating disorders – when an adolescent reaches the ripe old age of 18. At that age they are simply not emotionally or intellectually well enough to cope with medical decisions on their own. The eating disorder has compromised their thinking; they cannot think clearly. Their brains have literally shrunk, they’re not capable of making rational decisions. They’re in a fog. And they don’t have the skills and capabilities that an older adult does (or should have). Until they are considered well enough to function fully in society (and I appreciate that takes time and patience to measure), then their parents should always be kept informed, just as they were when they were considered to be children.
Confidence in medical care is essential, of course. No-one but you needs to know about your medical needs. It’s hard enough for doctors these days to know when to divulge concerns to a family member without the added worries of whether they need to inform the police or Social Services. There are some interesting cases here.
But when it comes to adolescents and young adults with eating disorders, the confidentiality and Data Protection laws need to be changed. Parents need to be included in the care of their child, and therefore the communication channels should be wide open between the care team and the parents. I could ramble on here for ages about this, but I won’t now. I will write a separate post about this another day. It’s important enough to need a post devoted to just this subject.
No, I’m wrong. It’s important enough to get the law changed! Never mind a blog post.
I’ll get off my soap box now. Apologies for that ‘heavy’ interlude. Normal service will now resume… 🙂
Communicating with family and friends
Sometimes it’s important to withhold information from your children so that they don’t worry unnecessarily. Particularly if your children are more sensitive (and if that is the case, keep a careful eye on their eating habits – it’s proven that overly-sensitive children are more prone to developing eating disorders). Good parenting means knowing how to talk to your children in a way that they will understand; it means not giving them too much information that they can’t process until their brains are more developed; it means knowing your own child, and how much he or she can comprehend.
Most of us (certainly the people I know) are pretty good at making that judgement. Most others end up on the Jeremy Kyle show. I loathe and detest that show and cannot watch it without cringing at how our society is becoming. How can people go on television and air their ‘dirty laundry’ in that way? Unbelievable at times. People seem to love it though, my daughter included – she says it makes her life seem better! I kind of get that. 🙂
Anyway, I digress.
There’s also the issue of communicating with the rest of your family, and friends. How open are you with them? I used to be quite closed at telling people how I felt. I used to think that it was a sign of weakness to talk about your feelings all the time, and I still do to a certain extent. But over the years, especially since my daughter became ill about eight years or so ago, I’ve realised that it is important to talk. It’s important to try to make people understand how it is with you and your loved ones. And if they don’t, can’t or won’t get it, then that’s their loss.
I hear of people falling out with friends and losing touch with family because of misunderstandings. I would hate that to ever happen to my family and hope that we can always talk things through and either learn to understand the other’s opinion, or simply agree to disagree.
At the end of the day, life’s too short for disagreements. Wouldn’t you agree? Isn’t that why we need to communicate more, and better? I think so.
Hunger Lies Deep 